Sunday, August 30, 2009

Gail's Guide for Customs Survival

Having now crossed the US-Canada border 54 times, I'm starting to learn what to do and what not to do when crossing. This may not be so interesting or useful for most people, so, if you are one of those people, feel free to stop reading anytime--I'll understand. But for me and those like me, these methods become a source of survival in terms of saving time and, most importantly, sanity. So, here are Gail's Tips for US-Canadian Customs Survival.


1. Think about what you're going to say to the official(s) before you approach them. If you're stuttering and searching for explanations, they'll get suspicious and ask you even more questions that you'll have an even harder time explaining. Also, they can be kind of intimidating at times, and this may make explaining things a bit more difficult if you're not well prepared.

2. Make sure your passport and whatever other documents that will facilitate your entry are ready when you approach the booth. This past June, the US started requiring a passport of everyone crossing the border, now required for ground in addition to air. Canada, however, does not have this requirement for ground travel, although a passport is probably preferred over any other form of picture ID.

If you're like me and have an unusual reason to enter and stay in the country, be sure to bring any other documents that will substantiate the legitimacy of your reasons. For example, since I'm still going through the immigration process, I bring all the correspondence I have received from the department of immigration to prove and show the status of my application. I've found that without this, the Canadian officers are more hesitant to let me in without a "fight," as I only have visitor status in the country and shouldn't be residing there as thus unless actively immigrating, which I am. I don't wait for them to ask me for this documentation; I just stick the most recent correspondence in my passport and hand them the whole thing. I also bring along a copy of our marriage certificate just in case the officers don't believe my claim of being married to a Canadian. I've never felt the need to show this nor have I ever been asked for it, but I have it in the event of an emergency.

3. Put your car in park. Officers will frequently go around it to look in your back seat and at your license plate, and if they desire to do so, they'll tell you to do this anyway for their own safety. Plus, you don't want to accidentally let off the brake and make them think you're making a run for it. A few officers may tell you to shut off the car altogether, although this has only happened to me a couple of times and is a matter of preference and not a rule.

4. Take off your sunglasses. I've never been able to get through without doing this, even when dealing with officers who now recognize me.

5. Think about what you're bringing in before you attempt to cross. It's not that you're not allowed to take any stuff you bought in one country into the other country, but there are rules limiting the transport of certain alcohol, tobacco, and agricultural products, as well as some high-value merchandise.

One day I was asked if I had any agricultural products on board. I peer down at the passenger seat and look at the banana that I had brought to eat along the way. I think, "oh crap" and say softly "Uh, a banana...?" I secretly prepare myself to throw it into the parking lot behind me in the direction of Canada. Luckily, before I hurl the forbidden fruit back into its country of origin, the officer says "A banana is OK." Whew! I had totally forgotten that you're not supposed to bring stuff like that over the border. While driving, I got to wondering: if a banana is OK, what isn't OK? A kiwi? A potato? 100 potatoes? A bonsai tree? Pig tongue? Well, according to the US Department of National Security website, all plant and animal products (including my banana) are supposed to be declared, inspected for "pests," and approved before going over the border. The guy apparently let me off easy.

Even though I've never had to pay duties on anything I've brought into either country, I've heard if this happening. In fact, Jeff was made to pay duties on a pack of cigarettes upon returning to Canada from the US. This is just dumb, but they have a right to do it, so beware.

6. Tell the truth. Even if you're entering the country for a reason that you may think will sound a bit shady, it's better to tell them the shady reason for entry than to look even shadier if and when they find out that you lied. You have to remember that your talking to the country's Department of National Security and not just a toll booth operator (not to discount the value of toll booth operators, but they're only going to deny you entry if you can't pay the toll or threaten their lives). Governments are taking issues of national security rather seriously these days, so you don't want to mess with it. I'm not sure what information they record when you talk to the officials (if any), but lying to a customs officer may bar your future attempt into the country as well.

7. Do what you're told. Unless it sounds unethical, do whatever the officials tell you to do without causing any trouble. There's been one instance when I was told by a Canadian official to park under the canopy where they tear apart vehicles and go inside so I could get my vehicle inspected. I have no idea why this particular officer (whom I'd never seen before) felt that I needed my car inspected as I told him the same stuff I've told the other officials everyday, but I did what I was told without question, even though it made absolutely no sense.

I go into the customs office and wait in like for 15 minutes, during which I witnessed a group of people get denied entry, which I think was a good reality check to remind me that this does happen and that I need to keep my shit together when crossing the border. I'm not sure why these "No Entries" (as the officials called them) weren't allowed in, but I wasn't about to ask in fear of becoming a "No Entry" as well.

Anyways, once I get up to the counter, I simply explain to the officer my usual speech, that I live in Abbotsford with my Canadian husband, am going through the immigration process and come through here every weekday as I work in Bellingham. The officer briefly glances at my passport and simply says, "OK, good-bye." and my car was never inspected. If this happens again, I'm probably not going to resist the officer by saying that this has already happened and the officer in the office didn't feel the need to inspect my car as I don't want it to appear as though I have something to hide. The officer in the booth recorded everything I said on a form and instructed me to give it to the official indoors, so maybe next time, if I resist the inspection, that officer WILL feel the need to inspect my car. I obviously have nothing to hide anyway, so I'll continue to humor them by complying to their insensible requests, even though they're a big waste of my time and completely unnecessary.

8. I'm not really sure how to list this as a "tip", but the first question I'm always asked is "Where do you live?" I not only give them the answer to this question, but I also go on to say, without stopping, that I live with my Canadian husband, am going through the immigration process, and work in Bellingham. For awhile I thought that you shouldn't say anything other than the questions you're asked in fear of saying something that will lead to an inspection or whatever, but I know they're going to ask this anyway, and it takes a lot longer for them to piece these facts together with a series of questions, so I just tell them so they get a quick, cohesive explanation. This isn't to say that you should jabber on forever, but I think it's better just to give them the essentials upfront and then let them go from there.


Upon beginning this entry 2 weeks ago on my Blackberry, I never thought I would have so much to say about this seemingly-simple experience of going through customs. Evidently, I do. Even though it's really annoying to have to do twice a day everyday, I think it's pretty unique. How many people spend everyday in two different countries? Sometime this year Jeff and I hope to move to White Rock, a beautiful town right on the Pacific. From there it will only be a half hour drive for me, and I'll be able to go through a border crossing with a Nexus lane (the crossing I take doesn't have one), making this process waaaaaaaaay easier as I can just drive right through without dealing with anyone. But until then, I will continue to cross according to the rules above and hope for the best.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Washington Weirdness

Although the State of Washington is obviously not in Canada, the only reason I am going there is because I live but can't work in Canada; therefore, I think it's ok to include stuff about it in this blog (I blame Canada for deflecting attention from itself).

Anyways, it probably be more fitting to call this new segment of my blog "Washington Uniqueness," but that doesn't sound nearly as good as "Weirdness," so there ya go. Driving almost 60 miles round trip through WA everyday gives me plenty of time to discover unique differences between it and the states in the Midwest in which I have worked and resided. I wasn't expecting to find anything in WA unique enough to write about, but I was pleasantly surprised at my following discoveries:

#1: Infestation of drive thru-only coffee houses

On my 27 mile-long commute through Northern Washington farmland, I pass what I deem a ridiculous number of drive thru coffee houses. If I stray from my usual route, I discover even more. Washingtonians love their coffee, and they love it fast. This really isn't surprising though since Starbucks is based in Seattle, a mere 2 hours south of here. I ironically don't pass any Starbucks stores--mostly rinky-dink little shack places in the middle of nowhere like this:




Maybe I live in a bubble, but I have never seen a drive thru-only coffee place like this in the Midwest, ever. There is no shortage of them in the big city of Bellingham either:




The majority of these places, even the ones in the middle of nowhere, are open 24 hours, apparently supporting the truckers and third-shifters of WA. Anyways, this drive thru coffee phenomenon isn't super bizarre by any means, but I just thought it was fun and unique.

#2: Fred Meijer-Fred Meyer Parallel Universe

A week ago I asked one of my coworkers if there was anywhere near the office that I could get a money order. He listed off a couple of places, including "Fred Meyer." I was like, "You guys have Meijer here?!?!" close to having a heart attack. He said no, it's different. I couldn't believe it, so at the stroke of 11:30 I drove over there, hoping to see the familiar red and blue Meijer sign. Instead I got this:

Doh! WTF?! I go inside, and "Fred Meyer" is the same type of department/grocery store that Meijer is, just a bit more ghetto. I was slightly disappointed, but maybe our beloved "Meijer" stores will make it out here someday and blow the impostor "Meyer" out of the Pacific.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Cell phone madness

Is it less expensive to:

A) Call a Canadian cell phone that's being used in the US with a US cell phone that's being used in the US;
B) Call a Canadian cell phone that's being used in the US with a Canadian cell phone that's being used in the US;
C) Call a Canadian cell phone that's being used in the US with a US cell phone that's being used in Canada; or
D) Call a Canadian cell phone that's being used in the US with a Canadian cell phone that's being used in Canada?

Anyone who can come up with the correct answer wins a touque!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Not chasing butterflies

I recently obtained a marketing manager position at a small IT company in Bellingham, Washington. Although Bellingham is only about 27 miles away from Abbotsford, it takes me about an hour to drive there, mainly due to driving on all back roads, some of which have speed limits of only 25-35 MPH.

Before I go any further, I would just like to clarify that I feel immensely lucky to have been able to obtain a job right now, especially one in my field that didn't require a whole lot of effort to get. I'm only typing this in order to explain and record the experience and not to complain about it. Don't get me wrong---I'm often frustrated, stressed and tired doing this everyday, but it is a small price to pay to live with Jeff and have a job at the same time.

Anyways, since I drive over the US-Canada border to get to work, I obviously have to go through customs everyday. Getting into the US has understandably never been a problem, and in fact, the guys (I've not yet encountered any women customs officials on the US side) are beginning to recognize me and even remember why I'm entering the US. I am sort of becoming a "regular," and all the guy asked me when I went through yesterday was "Are you bringing any foreign merchandise with you?" and then just let me through, which is pretty unusual.

Unfortunately for me, going through the Canadian side after work isn't so smooth and can be downright unpleasant. I've ironically never yet gotten the same official twice, which I expect would make things somewhat easier since they'd probably start recognizing me and stop hesitating to let me through. No such luck yet, however. I've found that driving over the border is less strict customswise than flying, but there have been a few instances when I've had to truly defend my intentions for entering the country, which can be quite stressful.

Now, let's first think about what it must be like to go through customs for a hypothetical American family (I'll call them the Joneses) consisting of a mom, dad and two kids, who are entering Canada for recreational purposes:

"Howdy" says Mr. Jones to the customs officer as he hands her his family's passports. Officer Deville smiles and replies "Hi! Where are you lovely folks headed on this beautiful day?"

"We're going to the park for a picnic!" answers little Jane Jones happily.

"How wonderful!" exclaims Officer Deville. "Did you bring some yummy cookies and cake to eat on your picnic?"

"Yeah!" shouts little John Jones from his car seat. "We have apple pie too!"

"Wow! Will you chase butterflies and blow bubbles while you're at the park? I always loved doing that when I was a kid," says Officer Deville.

"Yeah!" yell both children back in unison. Officer Deville smiles and hands back the passports to Mr. Jones. "Have a super day!"

As the Jones family drives away, Deville turns the light from red to green and I approach the window. I say "Hi there." as I hand her my passport. Deville ignores my greeting and begins to scrutinize every page of my passport.

"Where do you live?" she asks in a monotone voice while turning the pages.

"Abbotsford," I reply.

"Where's your visa?" The tone of her voice changes from complacent to suspicious.

"I'm married to a Canadian and going through the immigration process. We sent in the application--"

"Where's your plate registered?" she interrupts before I can explain anything further. As she squints at the monitor that's displaying the back of my car, I tell her Kentucky.

"Why?!" she hostilely demands. Her facial expression becomes that of what I can best describe as a skeptical snob.

"Because I can't register it in BC until I am a permanent resident," I explain. Isn't she aware of the laws she's attempting to enforce?

"Have you sent in your application?" she asks. Didn't I already tell her this? I think to myself. I tell her yes. She looks doubtful.

"You sent in the fingerprints and everything?" like she's making sure I did my homework. I say yes again as she turns back to my passport. Apparently she notices the stamps from when I crossed the border at the airport twice in June and she asks, "What did you tell them at the airport?"

"Er..exactly what I just told you...?" What else would I tell them? I wonder to myself. I have no other reason! Isn't the fact that I'm entering to go live with my husband reason enough!?!?

Deville apparently could not come up with anymore interrogative questions to ask me, nor could she find any good reason to keep me out of Canada. She starts asking me the routine questions at a rapid pace: "Did you buy anything while in the US? Are you bringing in any tobacco or alcohol?" etc. She finally hands me back my passport and says "go ahead" in the same monotone voice with which she began.

I speed away, thanking God that I got through that. I'm all worked up and stressed for the rest of the night (but it was nothing that beer couldn't cure).

Now, the hypothetical story about the Joneses is, of course, a huge exaggeration mainly for satirical purposes; however, what I went through was exactly how it went down (although the name "Deville" was made up. Officers only have a 6 digit number on their uniforms instead of a name tag). To be fair, I have to mention that Deville's attitude and questioning style are the exception to the rule. Many US and Canadian officers, although not usually overly friendly, are not cruel or hostile either. The majority act very respectfully and professionally, and they do their job. Some even break a smile if I tell them something like "Yeah, I can't resist that Canadian charm!" referring to Jeff's charm, of course (hehe).

I imagine it would be much easier and less stressful to enter both countries if my reason for entering was to go chase butterflies or something else fun but meaningless. However, my reason, although not easy to explain to the customs folks, is better. In fact, it is the best reason I think anyone who has entered Canada has ever had. Sure, there must have been thousands who have fought their way into Canada to be with their loved ones, but I fight my way in to be with Jeff, and that is the best reason ever. And if anyone else tries to fight their way through customs to be with Jeff, they'll have to fight their way through me too, and I'll kick their ass. ;)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Discovering Canadian Oddities: An Ongoing Occurrence

Canadian Oddity #6: Naked Bike Ride

This particular oddity isn't exclusive to Canada, but it takes place in a lot of major Canadian cities, and Vancouver is no exception. Apparently hundreds of cyclists strip down to their birthday suits and ride around the city to protest oil dependency. Last weekend, Vancouver cyclists were also protesting the fact that there aren't enough bike paths in the city. The true oddity is that although the bikers in the buff block traffic and pretty much reduce it to a standstill (not to mention commit indecent exposure), the mounties are instructed not to anything as the department doesn't want to deal with it. I'm all about cyclists' rights, the right to protest and things of that nature, but if people are riding around naked in the streets stopping traffic, shouldn't the police try to at least facilitate it so it doesn't shut down the city?

Discovering Canadian Oddities: An Ongoing Occurrence

Canadian Oddity #5: Provincial Independence Days

Each Canadian province has it's own sort of "independence day" in which they celebrate when the province was formed. Monday happened to be BC Day, and most folks (including Jeff) had the day off. Can you imagine there being a New Jersey Day, a Michigan Day, a Texas Day, etc.?